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Salt Lake City, Utah, United States

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I can run faster than you can...

In case I ever forget this story...I have passed it on along the way and there are about 15+ people who could remind me, and I don't think they would miss a detail.

But, just in case they forget the story too, there will always be record of it. Right here.


Because it's freekin. hilarious.

Alright, so, back in the day...Some friends (Lexie and Lysha) and I decided to go on our very first road trip with out the parents!! We were stoked!! We were going to be going to Boise, Idaho for the boys state basketball game. We called and got reservations for a hotel downtown and we were on our way!

We went up there on a Friday and the state game was going to be Saturday morning, so we had the night to do whatever we wanted!! Our fantastic plan (as most 17 year olds would enjoy) was to go down to the weight room/pool and hang out and check out the boys.

We get to the weight room and are in luck! Not only are there boys in the hot tub, but the hot tub and weight room are side by side, with only a glass wall seperating them.

Turns out, the 'boys' were checkin me out. In a way you wouldn't imagine.

I hop on the treadmill and start pressing buttons. I saw the 'safety belt' but seriously...what 17 year old, with intentions on picking up some guys would wear the safety belt, on a treadmill??

My friends all hop on other equipment and I continue to press buttons. Nothing is happening. I increase the speed over and over...still nothing.

All of a sudden...something starts happening. The treadmill is rapidly increasing speed. I'm assuming maybe it froze up and conveniently remembered how many times I had pressed the "faster" button.

Thank GOD that particular treadmill maxed out at 12mph, because I sure as shit ran 12mph. There was no stopping the treadmill...

Oh, and the safety belt? It was dangling right in front of me. Teasing me.

I couldn't do anything because I was going to fast. I couldn't talk. I couldn't release the death grip I had on the sides of the treadmill to simply turn down the speed...or press the emergency stop button. It was hard enough to keep up on the treadmill. I just happened to be wearing flip flops, which was definitely not helping the matter. I also had on a nice, warm hoodie. It was definitely keeping me warm, although I don't think I needed the sweater to stay warm.

My friends start to notice that the treadmill is going super fast and at first think I am just messin around and am in 100% control. Alysha, laughing her head off, looks over and says "Jess!!! You're gunna go through the wall!!" In my head (because I can't say anything out loud) I am thinking um YEAH...get your ass over here and stop it before I do!!!

I think Lexie could finally tell by my facial expressions and lack of words that I needed her to come and stop the thing! She calmly says.."Are you okay?" "Do you need me to come and stop it for you haha?"

I say nothing but hope that my face is stating the obvious.

She slowly stops her treadmill, slowly walks over and slowly presses the "slow down" button. I then had the joy of running 11.5, 11, 10.5, 10, 9.5, 9 mph...etc...all the way down to 0. Why she didn't just press the STOP emergency button? I don't know. At least she was there to save my life. What a peach.

Coming out of this experience, I am pretty confident I know what it feels like to walk on's hard to explain, but walking was just so...easy...after having run 12 mph for a few minutes, it literally felt like I was walking on clouds.

Those boys were sure in for a treat. What a great show I put on, how nice of me. :)


Mike & Alysha Mathews said...

Let me clear something up... I was clearly laughing so hard that I couldn't even think about going over there to help you or I clearly would have. I was on the floor by the time Lexie stopped it for you. And also you must remember the conversation in the elevator on the way back to our room.. After much thought Jessica turned to me and Lexie and states "It's a good thing I wasn't in a school zone I would have been speeding...." This is why we love you Jess. This is why we love you.

Trav and Jessica said...

hahahahaha I COMPLETELY forgot about saying that!! Oh awesome. It was certainly true.

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