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Salt Lake City, Utah, United States

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I'll admit it. I need to go to AA.

...and I'm wondering if I'd be the only person there.

I was thinking of my "podium speech" this morning. It would go something like this...

"Hi. My name is Jessica and I am an arachnophobic. I'm hoping by joining this group, I will somehow be able to overcome my fear of spiders. I'd like to start out with a goal. I mean, that's the first step to recovery, right...well, after admitting. Anyway,I'm hereby declaring that I will try to kill at least one spider a...year. Some of my weaknesses include but are not limited to: waking up from a dead sleep to do a "spider check" because there was a spider in my dream and I am worried that there is also one outside of my dream. Waking Travis up from a dead sleep to either help me look for the spider I swear I saw, or to kill a spider for me. Making myself watch any spider be killed so I know for a fact, he is a goner. After watching, I then tell myself that the spider's momdadsisterbrotherunclecousingrandpa is after me. I also have a horrible problem where I remember each spot in the house, where a spider once was. I will also not stand in that spot...because you never know, if they were there one time...there's got to be something about that spot that just attracts spiders. I don't see that as a problem though, because there are, thankfully, plenty of other spots to be in. Like this morning...I was picking out what I was going to wear and remembered a time where I was doing the same thing and a spider crawled out from under my shoe, on the left. My simple solution was just to move slightly more to the right...you never know. I'd also like some help with my constant spider checking. Everywhere. I. Go. Most people watch TV 100 percent of the time. Well, I watch TV 80 percent of the time because I know spiders don't just stop moving around when the TV comes on. (They also don't go to sleep when the lights go out. I learned that a few years back.) Also, when I walk into someones house, I'd like to be able to point out a cute decoration, or really, anything besides the spider chillin in the corner. And so, I'm hoping I'm not alone in this group and hopefully someone can provide some sort of help. Things that generally work for me are men who kill spiders, or kills on contact spray. I'd like to know what things you guys do to help solve your arachnophobia problem."

Then people would probably clap, and I would take my seat (after the spider check of course) and listen to the next testimony.




6 comments:

kel said...

Jessica! They SO go to sleep when the lights go out! Also, another cool fact about spiders is that they mark there territory with their scent so other spiders don't go there. So there is a 93% chance that if you saw a spider somewhere before there won't be another one because that territory has already been marked. So you are completely safe! Just keep your lights off in stay in places where spiders have already been! love you miss you! ~kel

Trav and Jessica said...

I'm gunna go ahead and call a liar liar, pants on fire. :) It was creative though, very creative! haha! Miss you too! I need your blog in my life, lady!

..::kassi.wooten::. said...

k first of all, kel is a smart smart lady. i dont know who it is, maybe i do i just dont know by that picture, but i like the facts. second of all im so confused because under her comment there is a comment from "trav and jessica" and thats you? i dont get it. and third of all...i know for a fact that you arent the only one in the aa class...cuz i will most definitely be right there with you, i actually already started my testimony as well. ill share mine with you at the class though. love you.

Trav and Jessica said...

You know Kel! Kelli, that I graduated with!

The second comment is from me...back to her. So yes, it is from me :)

Yay!! We'll do it together!

So...here's something that's sorta weird. AS you were typing out your comment to me, I was texting you telling you you need to blog. AND that's after like 3 days of not really talking, we're definitely sissys :) love you too!

..::kassi.wooten::. said...

ohhhh haha i get it now. word. love you too!

kel said...

psh! Do you know Kelli! Kassi I am offended! But only a little bit because you did say I was a smart smart person!

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