My biggest fear...or so I thought.

I'm 23 years old and I thought I had it figured out. In all of my 23 years, I've (and most likely anyone who knows me) always known that a spider, little or big...will almost immediately put me into cardiac arrest.

Well boys and girls, I have run into something that is even *worse* than a spider.

Curious? (It might be a good idea to skip the rest of this post. If you're like me, it will haunt you and give you nightmares for the rest of your life...but I just have to share. It's not fair that I'm the only one with this image in my head. So, it's your choice. At least I'm warning you.)

Turns out 1 ginormous spider with hundreds of baby spiders on her "abdomen" will just about make me poop in my pants at the same time that my heart stops.

I'm so glad that (up until Saturday) I've never seen anything like this in my life but why?? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHYYYY did that have to change?

Also, WHY would something like this be chillin on our front porch *days* after we sprayed?? :(

I have no faith in you Ortho. Your supposed spider killing spray is whack.

Curiosity killed the cat. And, almost the JessicaTravisTonyandKassi.

Curiosity is such a hard thing to overcome.

I heard about Hobitville quite awhile ago and have been there a few times. Really, all it is is a community with supposed "little people" only.

I am curious about this.

It is an interesting place to go because there are a ton of signs with sayings I dont think one would ever come to understand. (At least not this one.)

It has little-er houses/cottages.

It has a river running through it.

It has large peacocks.

It is really foresty...and in the middle of the city. It is just really interesting to me.

Mostly people go check it out at night, where I can understand can be bothersome to the residents but dang it...it's just fasinating, really.

I have heard of stories where people have been chased out. With bats. Where people have been blocked in. Where people have been shoed out, etc...but never had a story similar.

Over the weekend, one of the things I was able to do (after finally being able to move from being super, super sunburnt) was go with Trav, Kassi, and Tony to Hobitville.

It was fairly late on Saturday night and I just happened to be driving Tony's car. A few things to keep in mind about Tony's car would be the tint- it is extremely dark...and, that it is a stick shift. This makes manuvering a little slower.

Going into this place, it is a one way street. You drive through the park-it is about a mile long- and then at the end, you turn around and drive out.

This time, we were about 50 feet in and all of a sudden, a lady, walking her dog pops out. Angrily. She stops at the FRONT of the car, and doesn't move for about 30 seconds. During this 30 seconds, I am...probably the most scared AND just happen to be sitting in the driver's seat...of course...the one that has to do something. I have some people in the car telling me REVERSE!! Some telling me, ROLL DOWN YOUR WINDOW AND TALK TO HER!! Some not saying anything. And my self saying to myself...how long do you think it would take to just jump in the back and make Tony take my spot and make him do something, and NOT me. Being that I only had about 30 seconds to make a decision I had to hurry and weigh out my options. The tint on the windows and the stick shift deal were telling me there was NO way that I was going to simply reverse. I couldnt just switch Tony seats, which left me the fabulous option of ...talking to her...

I roll down my window slowly, shaking already and say "Hi, I am looking for 17th east?! I seem to be lost"

She, angrily says you better go right there (points) and turn around. You have a HUGE space to do it. Do not bother us. This is our home.

So we did just that. I turned around at the very NEXT possible turnaround and we left.

Thinking about it now, I feel bad. It is their home. It is just so interesting though. Isn't it the same as someone driving down my street, while I am at home?! I can see where they come from, but I think having the area set up the way it is, draws more people in than if it would be set up like any other neighborhood.

BIG NEWS!!!

Today. I. Killed. A. Spider.

Yes. It's true.

I am not lying. I feel like this is a big step in my life. Like something I can cross off of the "To Do Before I Die" list. Because...that's just not something I would normally do.

Like this one time when I lived with my Grandparents...I was up at 5:30 in the morning getting ready for work. I had just got done showering and I was blow drying my hair. All of a sudden I see a ginormous spider HAULING BUM accross the floor, MY BEDROOM FLOOR! It was a crisis. I jumped on my bed because I have lead myself to believe that I am safe up there. I had no other choice but to call Grandma, who was asleep. And upstairs.

...
Grandma?

(Sounds tired) Yes?? Are you okay? Is everything alright?

No :( I need you to come down here please..

For what? It is 5:30 in the morning...is everything okay?

No. Grandma, can you please come and kill this spider so I can finish getting ready for work? Please..I cannot get off of my bed until he is gone and he is moving really quickly, please Grandma!!
...

Or, like the time there was a spider in my room and no one was home to kill him so I watched him for as long as I could stand to and finally had to leave and didnt sleep in my bed for a month.

Or, like the time we were at girls camp and we were staying in spider INFESTED cabins (Okay, I only found two spiders when I did my check, but that is plenty!) and it was bed time and I insisted we sleep with the lights on so I could keep an eye out all night and we tried it for an hour and no one else could sleep so they made up a big fat lie and told me that spiders go to sleep and stop moving when the lights are turned off and that only halfway held me over through the morning.

Yeah. Those examples. THEY are like me. I cannot stand spiders!!!!!!!

This morning while I was getting ready, I seen a spider crawling on the shower curtain approximately 6 inches away from me.

I need to take a moment to thank God that I had stepped out of the shower 5 minutes prior to that and I didnt have a spider encounter in the shower. Those are not good.

My first thought??
I will have to call in sick today. I cannot get ready in the bathroom. No, I can't call in sick..What do I do??

I had to find a way to kill the spider. Also, to make things that much better for me....this just happened to be a morning where I was in a pretty big hurry to get ready to get to work on time!

Naturally.

After standing there, watching him for 5 minutes I figured out that there was NO WAY I was going to attempt to kill him when he was not on a solid surface. So, I stepped outside of the bathroom and started blow drying my hair while watching Mr. Spider. Eventually he made his way to the top of the curtain where the bar is and I figured now was my only chance. I grabbed probably way more toilet paper than I needed, gathered the might, and BAM! Smashed him.

Next (One of my biggest things, no matter who kills the spider is that I have to actually SEE the dead spider, or problem is not solved.) I throw the toilet paper in the garbage and go and grab Travis's shoe (shhh...) to poke it to see if there is a spider in there.

There. was. not. :( Back to square one. (I think this counts as killing TWO spiders)
He disappeared for about 3 minutes, all of which I spent sitting on my bed waiting for him to re-appear. Finally he did...of course on the shower curtain again...no worries...It's not like I have a job to go to or anything...Take your time Mr. Spider :) He then decides it is time to crawl onto the side of the tub. I had to hurry! Trav's shoe did not leave my hand this entire time so I went into the bathroom and gathered up my might again and BAM! Squished him. The good news...this time it worked :) I even verified it. His leg was on Travis's shoe. :)

I feel so accomplished. However, I don't think I will try that anymore.

PS: My Grandma came downstairs, at 5:30 in the morning, and killed the spider for me :) What a great Grandma!